if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
