Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
