Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
