Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was confusing and full of hummus
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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