And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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