You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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