Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I party with great urgency now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
