need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
