Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
