Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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