he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
