just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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