so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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