Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize