It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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