I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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