I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
