I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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