What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
