doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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