Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
