so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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