He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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