Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
