Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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