You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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