she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
