yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
