my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
