dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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