I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
