I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
