You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
