he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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