if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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