I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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