I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
