Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dignity is for republicans.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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