Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
