the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize