is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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