I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
