She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
