I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can text with my tongue
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
