yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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