I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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