He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
