i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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