you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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