nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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