What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
