Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
they need to just BURY HIM!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
