My brain says no but my pants say off.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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