oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
